Sitting on the beach
Basking in the sun
Head full of thoughts
The usual crowd moving up and down
Bustling, hustling amounting to nothing
Same old stories told over and over again
Yet making no sense and none seeming to care
Emptiness, dejection, frustration and regrets
Hollow so deep and wide as I have never felt before
Frustration for the hopes and dreams abandoned
Regrets for the faith lost and the paths not trodden
Once we conquered the oceans
On the exciting waves we rode
The many raging storms we battled
On these strange shores we perched
Alas! Glimpses of a new haven I see!
A reminder of a born-champion
And one destined to conquer
Alas! Hope and faith restored
Like a phoenix rising from ashes to life again
I shall search through the rubbles and build again
Destiny has been kind to us, offering us a new day
A brand new opportunity to redefine ourselves
And etch our names in the history books
“Dreams are not what you see when sleeping; dreams are the ones that keep you from sleeping. “ – unknown source
Do you still remember your childhood dreams? Is it what’s keeping you from sleeping?
Mine never did! Fascinating is how I will describe my childhood dreams.
As a child, I had dreams of becoming the best mechanical engineer Ghana has ever seen! Ambitious? Hmmm.
My story goes this way; I started out early trying out all sorts of things; disassembling and reassembling my toys and even repairing electrical equipment all in my childhood days.
At the age of Twelve, together with my friend, we built our first electric toy car! That may be exaggerating matters but the point is we made something out of ordinary wood and an electric motor in an old toys car. We used plastic bottle tops with serrations to make some kind of a gear and we used AA batteries to power this car. It was even more fascinating when we realized that the ‘car’ could be reversed simply by reversing the terminals of the battery. My friend is now a marine engineer and I am still studying not to become an engineer but a doctor. Ah, such a noble profession. Hmm.
What could have changed, what went wrong (what got better if you asked me now)?
I remember getting admission to my dream school to pursue mechanical engineering in the year 2004. I even remember paying part of my fees. So what changed? Trust me; what changed still remains a mystery to me. The only thing I remember is that I was not influenced by anyone to make a choice I didn’t want. I remember my parents telling me, you can be whatever you want to be. And by God’s grace, I will be whatever I chose to be then.
There are times in our lives when we have to abandon what we have planned in order to align ourselves with what God has planned for us. I am not suggesting that this is the case in my situation.
I have had some worrying times, sometimes regret and frustration too because I chose to tread this path. There were times when I felt disheartened and this was worsened by the monotonous routine of listening to patients tell you their problems every day and the feeling of helplessness when you know you cannot help them much. The hospital can be such a depressing place for people like me.
Once I rode the waves and battled the raging storms when I was king of the world! Then the only defeat I knew was being second best in class. Medical School can make such a mess of even ‘immortals’ (a term we use for the academically sound)
In my view, these were what really made me doubt whether I was in the right place or not.
Was I a square peg in a round hole? Now I am fully convinced I am not. Thank God for the opportunity to know life and be a part of making it better. Thank God for the opportunity to see and appreciate some of the finer things in life.
Contrary to all surrounding morbid conditions and seemingly helplessness that I still sometimes feel, I do get the time to enjoy sights as wonderful as watching the joy of a mother cuddling her child and singing to it. As lovely as the baby smiling back as if it ever understood the out of key notes being sung. I think of the shrill cry of the baby I helped bring into this world (not literally as I only helped the mother deliver!) and the look of innocence on the child’s face.
Even in seemingly helpless states, I think of giving my all to help the young girl with Systemic Lupus Erythematosus who would probably die and the man with the end stage renal failure who had the chance to prepare his will and passed on comfortably. When I see the bleeding man, my heart bleeds not, not because I don’t care enough but because I have to stay focused to help save his life. When that man with cancer passed on, I tell the family without crying not because I’m cold and stonehearted but because they need someone to stay strong for them. In these ‘mishaps’, Perhaps God is using me for a purpose greater than my childhood dreams. In situations like these perhaps I can and must do my best to help in ways that I can cos’ it may be the purpose for which I am here. I have become certain of this; that whiles I am here and while I do my best, I shall find fulfillment.
These same old stories told over and over again and which did not make sense can then be interpreted in different ways. In ways that making no sense doesn’t mean having no relevance. Perhaps, it is our outlook in life and what pertains to it that makes it worth it or not. There are countless stories of how ‘mishaps’ led to groundbreaking discoveries like Sir Alexander Fleming discovering penicillin talk of Thomas Edison and the electric bulb, just to mention a few. To the atheist, it’s a matter of chance or probability. To the man of faith, it is the work of a superior being. Whatever we call it, it isn’t always so simple and straightforward. It is how we see it that matters. That is, our attitude.
So I encourage you my reader, search through the rubbles, pick up the pieces, rebuild and have faith! Believe it is worth your efforts and never give up. Above all, trust God and believe that He is the master architect and builder. When you’re lost, trust that He is the chief navigator and saviour.
Now when I think of my dreams, I like to think of it this way; that I stay awake to save lives. I must play my role very well then.